Welcome To The Harbor!
by Draconicmaw
Summary: Now docking, the T.S.M.S. Crack, flanked by the Crack Fleet, manned by the Crack Navy, and commanded by the Ship Masters! This is a collaboration one-shot-esque story with Marie-S-Raven, and join us as Fairy Tail finds a little crack lovin'.
1. Chapter 1: The Enemy of My Enemy

**I don't own Fairy Tail or its characters. However, I do own the eccentric brain that spawns some of these crazy ideas.**

Gajeel watched with barely contained excitement as Gray and Natsu argued once again over Mavis-knew-what. It was common knowledge that if the two so much as breathed on one another that a brawl would break out. It was just a matter of time before Gajeel was dragged into it.

It was one of the things he loved about this crazy ass guild. They could all be bashing chairs over the others' heads and still feel that soul-deep bond of friendship.

"Speak of the devil…" Gajeel muttered to himself with a chuckle and a head shake.

A chair flew across the room from the force of one of Natsu's kicks. It rocketed overhead in a great arc before crashing into Elfman's huge upper back. The big man stilled before yelling something about "Real men fight face-to-face" or some crazy rant similar to such. Activating his beast arm, he rushed into the flurry with a manly battle cry.

Wakaba and Macao, not to be outdone by the youthful stallions of the guild, lurched into combat, their clumsy entrance rocking a table on which a profound Vijeeter was gracefully dancing. He tumbled to the floor not a moment later. After a body smashed through her sake barrel, Cana, surprisingly, joined the fight.

Now, Gajeel didn't join a fight unless it started with him and Natsu or if he somehow got dragged into it. He didn't want people to think that -

"Hey, bolts-for-brains!" The pink-haired chimney dweller shouted after he went sailing off Elfman's back, towards Gajeel, and saw that the Iron Dragon Slayer had not yet contributed to the mayhem.

Gajeel didn't even have time to duck before a fiery fist collided with his cheek. They both crashed into the table behind him, sending wooden splinters flying as the poor piece of furniture was smashed to bits. A menacing growl rumbled up from Gajeel's chest as he shoved a smirking Natsu off him. He pounced up from the debris, latched onto the signature scarf, and slammed the pink-haired kid right into a wall.

Natsu, of course, recovered like a champ and fended off an incoming guild member with a flurry of punches and ducks.

Seeing that Gajeel was now fair game to any and all who wished to brawl, a couple others began to advance onto the Iron Dragon Slayer.

With all of the punching and kicking, lunging and ducking, tossing and being tossed, Gajeel was transported, slowly but surely, into the epicenter of the commotion. Gray was adjacent to him, and they leveled one another with an evaluating glance. They both spotted the other's approaching assailant and dove to each other's aid. Now they found themselves back-to-back.

Gajeel could _feel_ the cold draft emanating from the man behind him. They moved in time with one another in a small circle so both could view in full the havoc being wreaked around them.

Gajeel turned his head to see Natsu rushing towards them and noticed Gray doing the same.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend," the half-naked man said lowly, nudging the mage behind him with an elbow.

A chuckle scraped past Gajeel's lips, which were turning up into a toothy, wolfish grin. "Agreed, Frosty."

In tandem, they lunged toward the oncoming Fire Dragon Slayer. Natsu blocked Gray's kick, only to be struck by Gajeel's steely uppercut. He reeled backwards before baring his teeth in a sneer and engulfing his fists with flames. The solo fighter sprung upon the forward most opponent, Gajeel, in hopes of boxing him in the cheek once again.

The iron-studded one ducked, and just as the angry exhaust pipe's fist flew over his head - nearly singeing his hair, by the way - Gajeel rammed into his stomach with a firm shoulder. On a ragged exhale, Natsu's body went limp, and he slumped to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

Gajeel and Gray gave a brief fistbump before another boisterous set of their guildmates bore down upon them. Much to the surprise of others - and themselves - they became an excellent duo, fighting in a smooth gestalt that decimated their opponents, even if this was mostly just tussling for fun.

Alas, the horseplay could not last forever, as Erza stepped into the guild hall with a menacing aura and a mighty, blank expression.

Everyone stilled, even Natsu, who had dragged himself from the ground and was now mid-punch.

"I leave for a _moment_ , and _THIS_ is what I come back to?!" her voice was firmed with her fury, the fury of Titania, Queen of the Fairies. Since Makarov and others had appellated her so, why would she be designated with babysitting duty? A vast majority of her guildmates were _adults_ , for the love of all that was righteous and holy! She had _enough_ to deal with without _this_ being added to her plate as well.

Still as statues, everyone sweated with trepidation. They all sensed the building tension in the scarlet-haired woman, and those guilty of brawling weren't the only ones feeling the apprehension: the people that sat in the untouched portions of the guild hall were shaking like dry leaves hanging onto dead branches.

Gajeel barely held back the need to grind his teeth nervously. It was a bad habit of his, one that he was trying to cut back on, but moments like these made it difficult to keep himself in check. He was scared as hell; he knew what the Requip mage was capable of, and it made him tremble in horror at the thought of all that power unleashed upon him.

Just as that thought entered his consciousness, a flash of light blinded all who stood in the guild hall.

 _We're fucked._

For once, Fairy Tail was nearly silent. In terms of speaking, that is. A large amount of people were working in silence in the guild hall to repair the damages made to furniture and walls. Every single sliver of wood had to be returned to its corresponding table or chair, by decree of Erza Scarlet.

The people who were not involved in the fight were punished as well; they were first reprimanded for allowing a brawl of such size to occur, and then told to serve food or drink to those who were cleaning.

Gajeel found himself glaring jealously, yet gratefully, at Laki. While she had not taken part in the commotion, she was quick to aid her friends in the repairs of the wooden furniture. The others then piled what they believed to be debris from chairs or tables in their respective sections, and the Wood-Make mage stopped by to patch things all together.

Gajeel bit back his groan and wished that there was a table left to bash his head on. If there was one thing Gajeel hated most of all, it would be cleaning. Not that he isn't a neat guy. Hell, his house was one of the most immaculate places one could ever encounter. He just made sure things were put in the right place _the very first time_.

Despite his internal views on the matter, he obediently swept the little slivers of furniture into a pokey pile.

A hiss of pain, one used to keep a louder reaction hidden from the world, emitted from behind him, and he curiously glanced over his shoulder. Gray, clad in only his signature black boxers - Gajeel genuinely wondered how many pairs of them the younger man had in his possession - had his nose wrinkled as he lifted up his foot to inspect the sole of it. The coppery, bittersweet scent of blood was unmistakable to the Dragon Slayer's sensitive nose.

Broom in hand, the burlier man ventured closer. He found himself resisting a wince when the ice mage yanked a shard of wood from the dripping sore. A quietly seethed curse drifted up to his pierced ears.

"Y'know, Frosty, if you actually wore some damn shoes, crap like this wouldn't happen to ya," he teased with a chortle.

Gray's midnight blue eyes rolled. "Tell that to my fucking foot."

The taller of the two snorted to himself as the other flopped to the ground to magic an icy bandage for his injured appendage. "Don't tell me you're out of commission _now_."

The dark eyes peered at the mages bustling about the guild, "Not with Erza around." The pierced one turned to glance at the scarlet warrioress as well. "She's been crazy tense lately, and she hasn't been willing to tell us what's going on."

"I'd be pretty damn tense if I had that psychopath on my team, too," Gajeel admitted, leveling a glare to the rivaling Dragon Slayer.

"While I agree entirely, that isn't exactly the problem." Gray chuckled before standing. "By the way, teaming up with you was a brilliant idea. I don't know why we haven't thought of it sooner. No one quite annoys Natsu like the two of us," the ice mage joked as he extended a hand (the one _not_ streaked with blood) for a shake.

The other gladly accepted with a grin. It may not seem so, but Gajeel really enjoyed finding people he could actually interact with. It was a side of him that was suffocated in Phantom Lord, and then was able to roam more freely when the members of Fairy Tail began to trust him. In no way, shape or form was he a social butterfly, but he wasn't a total introvert, either. As most humans are, Gajeel was complicated when it came to interactions.

"C'mon, we both know it's all his fault for this whole thing, anyways," he quipped with a mischievous glint in his ruby irises.

"Totally." A sly smirk curved Gray's lips. "If it wasn't for him…" He pointedly looked down at his injured foot.

"Fuck'n soot sniffer," Gajeel growled.

They shared a conspiratory, scheming look as the mental cogs began to tick in synchronization.

"Boys! Get back to work!" Both jumped at the shout directed towards them, and rushed back to cleaning.

Seems like they've both found a new prank buddy!

 **No romance…** _ **yet**_ **.**


	2. Chapter 2: Out on the Town

**Chapter Two: Out on the Town**

The place is dimmed, fashioned like an old-style drawing room. Draconicmaw stands center, tossing darts - most of which are not exactly hitting home - at a poster of Ivan Dreyar hanging on the wall.

She catches sight of you in her peripheral vision and turns her head to you in surprise. "Hello there." She lowers her dart-wielding hand and ventures closer. "I believe you may be at the wrong place now, friend."

At your puzzled look, she laughs. "So you see, this is a collaboration story. My partner, _Marie-S-Raven_ , has the true second chapter of this."

Seeing your look of understanding and your motion to leave, she holds her hand out. "Wait!"

She moves closer, a certain air going about her. "I have to warn you. These are _crackship_ stories. We are not doing _canon_ couples, or even non-cannon couples that have been beaten to death by the fandom. They are mostly meant to amuse, and some of the pairings even horrify Marie and me. But as she says, _'A good author can make any shit look shiny,'_ and we just whipped out the boot polish. If you happen to find a pairing that you actually like, congratulations! Some of them we genuinely enjoy as well.

"Honestly, these are the Frankenstein's monster of pairings…"

Noticing the glazed, bored look entering your gaze, she attempts to hurry and get to the point. "So, basically, hop on over to Marie's page (go to the favorited author's section of my profile), read the second chapter, and come back here later for the third."

She laughs maniacally. "Get _cracking_!"


	3. Chapter 3: Peace and Quiet

**I don't own Fairy Tail or its characters. However, I do own the eccentric brain that spawns some of these crazy ideas.**

 **Chapter 3: Peace and Quiet**

Without a single doubt, what Laxus wanted most in that moment was to give them the biggest _light_ show they had ever seen. Since they feared to do so to the old man, his guildmates decided to rib _him_ about Makarov's new "relationship status".

All Laxus knew was that his fist almost had Natsu's name on it.

 _Almost… So damn close..._

"Fucking Bickslow… Taking that shithead's side…" Laxus grumbled, angrily making his way to Sanctuary. It was the only place that no one, not even Freed, would go to find him: the library. Honestly, he just needed some peace and quiet, some serenity _away_ from the crazy-ass people he called guildmates.

And hopefully to repair what remains of his shredded sanity and singed patience, not that it would surprise him if both were damaged irreparably...

Despite being more pissed off than a kicked hive of bees, he quietly opened and closed the door to respect those who may be inside. The smell of books had never been so comforting to the agitated young man. He strode deeper into the depths and gazed up in slight wonder at the towering shelves of knowledge. To be perfectly frank, he had only ever entered to retrieve Freed, and never really gave the place a solid look-over. It was well-kept, to say the least, the best example of order that could be found in the entire hall.

A faint smell, reminiscent of an orchard, tripped his olfactory radar, and his keen ears zoned in on the sound of even speaking and soft inflections. He turned his head, and there was Levy... reading one book... and listening to another on her soundpod... while occasionally writing notes in a small journal. She was reaching a level of concentration not even Freed Justine could probably maintain.

A sigh of relief was heaved at the knowledge of her being the only other one in there. He hadn't ever really conversed with her, but he knew she was pleasant, gentle in nature, quite tolerable when those two hooligans she called her teammates weren't around.

Despite his relief, however, even now, he felt a flash of guilt whenever he saw the little blue-haired woman.

Laxus, personally, had gone through some dark times, but they served no excuse for the great injustice of his past mistreatment to both her and the guild. The whole Fantasia crisis wasn't the full extent of it, either. The memory of attacking Gajeel _and Levy_ still left a bitter taste in his mouth. The fact that she walked away from that scenario relatively unharmed did not soothe the wound, whatsoever.

If anything, it made it worse; Gajeel's blocking of his attack was a further reminder that he tried to harm a comparably _defenseless_ person. She was just trying to protect someone, and he whirled on her like a rabid animal.

Immediately, he felt one-hundred percent uncomfortable, as if he were violating the silent contract of distance - not just spatially, but emotionally and socially as well - that seemed to be set between them, encroaching upon her territory, and trespassing into the quiet sanctuary where not even her team followed her. He, Laxus Dreyar, knew better than anyone how therapeutic solitude could be.

The confident strides devolved into uncertain, nearly shy (not that he would admit so) shuffling as he moved up to the shelves. Eventually, her occasional mutterings about syntax and declensions calmed his doubts, and his gaze began questing over the book spines in genuine interest.

Some of the bindings were cracked and faded with age, and he couldn't help but trail his fingers over them with wonder. Could Mavis have read one if these? Maybe even his great grandfather? (Based on what Laxus heard of Yuri Dreyar, it was highly improbable, but the thought still remained.) He knew that a vast majority of the books had survived the attack on the old guild hall, so at least _one_ could certainly have been there when the guild was originally founded.

Laxus was so lost in thought, he did not register neither the closing of a book, the husky scrape of wooden chair legs against polished tile, nor the nearly silent padding of small feet up to him.

"Looking for something in particular?" Her voice was soft, even, but cheery in a subtle way suitable for a spacious library.

His startled jump and yelp barely managed to keep to himself as he blinked down at the blue-haired young woman who had made her way to his side. _Damn, she's tiny…_ "Uh... no."

Big hazel eyes moved to where his hand rested on an old tome, and they assumed a gentle warmth as shs cracked a small smile. "That's a _really_ old one, right there."

His own lip curled slightly. "Yeah? I was just thinking the same thing."

She gestured for him to retrieve the fragile-looking book, which he did with complete and utter caution. "It's one of the originals in here. Master Mavis added it to the collection a few months after the first guild hall was built."

Laxus set his pride at the coincidence aside. _Just a lucky train of thought…_

His stormy blue eyes gazed down onto the leather binding - styled to look as if it was bordered by twining vines - with unrestrained curiosity. "Really? How do you know?"

She giggled, gently nudging his hand away to open its front cover. "It's on the inside cover. Who added it, what genre, and what time."

He forced his eyes away from the image of her small fingers resting near his much larger ones on the parchment. Easily, his hand could wrap around hers three or four times. Shooting that thought away like it was a stray cat, he nodded and ran the rough tips of his fingers over the small ink script in the corner.

A grunt left him, that not-quite-smile tugging at his lips once more. "You sure do know a lot about these books, don't you?"

She laughed, extending her arms out and above her head as if embracing all of the pieces of literature in the room. "I'm actually the designated librarian." Her arms dropped back to her side. "However, only Freed, Lu-chan, and I really ever come here, so I guess I don't have to do much."

Laxus scoped out the shelves thoughtfully before looking back at the Solid Script mage. "I bet you know every single book in here."

The responding smile he received was bright, dazzling, sly, and witty. "No, actually."

His thick blond brow arched as he leveled her a skeptical expression.

She pointed over to a box resting on one of the many tables. "Freed ordered those books over there, and I haven't gotten around to logging them… Or even _looking_ at them, really. So no, I am _not_ familiar with all of the books."

Laxus chuckled, finding himself rather fond of Levy's particular brand of sass. "I'm surprised you didn't bust that thing open as soon as it got here."

Mock offense morphed her expression. "Hey, I have self-control. Unlike most people in this guild," she added on a teasing grumble before she shrugged. "Anyways, I was working on a translation."

He frowned slightly as he closed the book in his hand. "I can leave if I'm bothering you. I know how crabby Freed gets if someone interrupts him."

A stray azure lock was tucked behind her ear by a dainty hand. "You don't need to do that. It was more busy work than anything else. I needed a break, anyhow." He felt her curiously eyeing him as he returned the book to its rightful place (which he very nearly missed due to his distraction). "Pardon my saying, but you seem to be in less of a bad mood than normal. Good day?"

He gave her his signature frown as he looked at her. He knew exactly what she meant -after all. He wasn't the cheeriest guy in the world - but he couldn't help but tease her a bit. "I don't go around kicking puppies every day. You make me sound like a monster."

The hazel depths of her irises twinkled with humor. "Oh? I suppose you write sonnets about the beauty of life in your free time instead of terrorizing local children? I apologize for underestimating the depths of your sensitivity, Mister Misunderstood."

He was feeling a tad silly, but her growing smile eased his reservations.

Thusly, he gave a stuffy sputter. "Not just sonnets. Haikus, tankas, limericks, free-style, you name it."

Obviously holding back a giggle, she bit her lip and crossed her arms. "Let me hear one, then."

 _Ugh!_ now he had to think of one he actually knew the rules for! So, Laxus thought about it a moment, his head tipping side to side all the while. "Hmmm… All right. A haiku." her head tilted forward, her eyebrows raising expectantly. "Haikus are easy," he stated, chin raised and the most profound expression settling on his features, "but sometimes they don't make sense." His gaze was returned to his one-person audience. "Refrigerator."

The huge grin she reveal was contagious, and he found one cracking across his own face. "Witty, but I've heard it before."

He snapped his fingers defeatedly. "Damn. Why don't you do one, then?"

She set her hands on her hips and leaned forward. "I will."

"Good."

"But it's going to be a tanka."

"Fine with me." Honestly, he wouldn't know of it for the criteria.

"And it will be original, unlike _yours_ ," she added.

Or if it was originally or not, but he was impressed she accepted his challenge.

Laxus waited patiently as she collected her thoughts. When the movement of her fingertips tapping against one another caught his attention, he realized she was counting syllables. After a few more moments of silence, she nodded and took a deep breath.

"On her sable wings,

Night swoops down with starry grace.

The day hides away,

Waiting for the time to come

To bring back the shining sun."

Laxus was stunned by how much he genuinely enjoyed her little composition; while he loved music, he wasn't exactly a fan of raw poetry, but the soothing flow and vivid imagery she managed to create in such a small amount of time was beyond pleasing.

"Wow. I really like that. You're quite good," he complimented without the reluctance that normally accompanied such an action from him.

Though her response was level and she tilted her head in mock arrogance, the light pink dusting on her cheeks did not go unnoticed. "Well, I _am_ a wordsmith."

The laugh that leapt from his throat surprised both of them; however, Laxus was better able to hide his in A timely and _effective_ manner. A part of him hoped that the short Solid Script mage wouldn't make a habit out of surprising him, while the vast majority was eagerly awaiting what else may be in store.

Levy laughed, too, mostly to herself, before speaking, "We got a little sidetracked there. Are you in a good mood today, Laxus?"

" _Hell. No._ " was his reply, his surly glower tearing another giggle from her.

"Aww. Someone defecate in your breakfast cereal, big guy?" She mocked sweetly, and then her hands rested on her hips with her chest puffed with pride. "Or are you not _manly_ enough to admit to having a good time?"

"I'll show you a good time," he growled, feigning a lunge for the blue-haired woman.

She squeaked and jumped back, tumbling to the floor of the library.

Guffaws rumbled from him at her disheveled appearance: hair falling from beneath her headband, shirt wrinkled, one shoe half off, and leaning back on her hands while glaring up at him.

A scowl was leveled to him, and she scoffed. "You _certainly_ don't seem to be in a bad mood. Who are you and what did you do with Laxus Dreyar?" She interrogated suspiciously.

Smirking, he stepped forward and lowered a hand to her. The blue lock tucked behind her ear liberated itself as she shook her head in disbelief, and his help was accepted with a chuckle.

The odd fluttering in his chest was quickly locked away, the key hidden, when he sensed how soft her skin was, felt how his fingers wrapped so _perfectly_ around her much smaller ones, saw how her cheeks flushed just enough to tell him that she was affected, too.

He blinked as he gently tugged her up and settled his other hand on her delicate shoulder to steady her. The earthy sweetness of her fragrance, strong with such close proximity, drifted up to him. It blended and blurred with the crisp scent of the library, complementing one another in their cohesiveness, until the two were one and the same.

Silently cursing the sudden pounding of his heart, he released her and shuffled back. He swallowed think my to make sure his voice would remain steady. "Still the same." _At least, I_ hope _I am_. "It's just really relaxing in here."

With her hands tucked behind her back, she tilted her head to the ceiling and sighed contentedly. "It most certainly is."

He tore his eyes away from her and thrummed his fingertips together with strange nervousness. "But, yes, I'm in a bad mood, and if you just step out into the hall for a while, you'll probably find out why," Laxus grumbled, rubbing his face with irritation.

"So you're seeking sanctuary in here?" Levy asked curiously, amusedly, moving to the box she had mentioned earlier and prying it open.

"Exactly. No one would look for me here. Not even Freed," he said, following her to peer at the newly-arrived tomes. The covers were labeled with jagged script, and he belatedly realized the strange markings were runes carved into the bindings.

"I wouldn't have thought that Freed would be a problem for you," she spoke, laying the volumes on the table - with such care that Laxus could have thought that she was handling infants - before pushing the container aside.

"I don't feel like dealing with people right now. Including Freed." The books were put into some kind of order, and he watched as she pulled out a chair and sat at the table before looking up at him.

"I'm fairly certain I constitute as a person, Laxus, and it looks like you're dealing with me very well," she said matter-of-factly after pulling a previously unnoticed pen from behind her ear.

For once, Laxus was totally stumped on what to say. Despite some lighthearted teasing, he was being completely tolerable, hell, even _pleasant._ Now, an embarrassing fluster made his cheeks fill with heat. His lips were parted, but no sounds were coming out. At least he wasn't stuttering or choking on his words, but it still put a dent in his pride. His hand itched to smack his forehead, but he kept it firmly placed on the back of the seat next to Levy's.

She didn't seem to notice, _thank Mavis_ , since she had turned back to the books as soon as she had asked him her question.

With some intense self-rationalization on his part, he finally managed to jump his mental hurdle, allowing him to say, "You're an _actual, sane,_ person, not a batshit crazy lunatic like the rest of our guildmates."

She chuckled. "Including your grandfather?"

" _Especially_ Gramps," he replied with a fond snort as he slid into the chair next to her.

 _Next to her? When did I start sitting_ next _to people?_

Levy hummed, daintily penning onto small cards before using magical adhesive to glue them into the books. "I'm not sure if he'd throttle you for that or just agree with one of those sagely grins of his."

Laxus rested his temple on his fist, elbow to the table. "Probably both." He watched as she smiled and continued on with her work. "I feel like an ass just sitting here."

An amused glance was thrown to him. "Do you have neat handwriting?"

"Yes, actually," he replied. He probably had the neatest handwriting out of anyone he knew, even _Freed_ \- when not writing runes, he had absolutely deplorable penmanship.

The short librarian slid some books and a few note cards over to him. "Here you go. Put 'Freed Justine, Ancient Culinary' and then today's date on the card. Apply a moderate amount of adhesive, and then stick it onto the inside front cover." She handed him her pen before marching over to pick up another from a cup on the front desk.

"Holy shit. These are all books on _cooking_?" the Lightning Dragon Slayer incredulously inquired.

"Yeah. One of Freed's obsessions," she answered while making her way back to her seat.

Shaking his head, he laughed with no shortage of ironic amusement.

Levy sat on the edge of her chair and gave the guffawing mage a quizzical glance. "What's so funny?"

"Have you ever tried Freed's cooking?"

A small, thoughtful frown appeared on her face. "No…"

His broad shoulders shook with more chuckles. "It's _terrible_."

She bit back her own giggle. "Well, maybe he wants to get better…?"

Laxus shrugged, and though his laughter died away, a grin was still plastered to his face.

"Who normally cooks on your missions, then?" She was beyond curious; after all, she really couldn't imagine Laxus, Bickslow , _or_ Evergreen being good chefs.

Not wanting to miss the look on her face, he turned to the blue-haired woman at his side. "Bickslow." Mouth agape and eyes wide, Levy stared at him with the most profound shock. He chortled. "Surprising, right?"

Her jaws snapped close with a click. "You… could _definitely_ say that."

Chuckling, both turned back to their work, and a comfortable, companionable silence fell over the pair. While it took more than a few minutes to process, Laxus realized that he just may have made a new friend. He got along with her _far_ more than he had expected, and - much to his surprise - he was eagerly looking forward to spending _more_ time with her. Maybe their guildmates should piss him off more often so he could have an excuse to come down here…

When he remembered just how annoying Natsu could really be, he hurriedly shut down that train of thought.

Eventually, all books were logged and stacked on the table in neat towers of archaic literature. Facing her, arms akimbo, he asked her "What now, boss?" in an exaggerated city accent.

Dramatically, she assessed him up and down before snapping her fingers. "You're tall."

A scoff emitted from aforesaid tall person. "You _just_ noticed?"

"No, but I thought I'd make a point of it," she started, walking over and wheeling the moderately-sizes bookshelf ladder to where he stood. "I normally don't have a helper, let alone one tall enough to do this next part efficiently."

Meanwhile, Laxus was internally joking to himself: _the great Laxus Dreyar, who defeated Wizard Saint Iron Rock Jura,_ _deemed a meer helper by resident representative of the Lollipop Guild, Levy McGarden._

However, he only had a vague idea of what she meant. "Okay, so…?"

She climbed up the ladder until she reached the top shelf. "Hand those books, one-by-one to me, please."

He realized that - with her halfway up the ladder, her head just below the top rung - his arm would come right up to her waist. This way, she wouldn't have to stoop to grab the book or climb all the way down. Efficient for sure!

Laxus did as she asked of him, bringing the tomes up while she fit them into their proper places on the shelves. As they did so, he noticed that this case was dedicated to culinary works alone. The newer, more modern books rested on the lower shelves, and the older, untranslated texts grew in frequency until the very top shelf, where only tomes written in ancient runes were lined up.

A couple of times their hands brushed, something that would normally have passed Laxus right by. His skin reacted with a strangely pleasant prickling sensation, which made him hypersensitive to Levy's gentle presence. It brought a vast awareness to her motions, the sound of her breathing, and the grateful sparkle in her bright, intelligent eyes. She hummed a bit under her breath, and he found himself zeroing in on each note, counting their lengths, and trying to place the tune.

Just as she slipped the last book into place, his keen ears picked up on the sound of someone moving through the hallway, towards the library.

A faint scent, though just strong enough for Laxus to pick up, drifted from beneath the library door.

"Shit…"

He could recognize that smell anywhere; Natsu was hunting him down.

The refugee yanked Levy down from her perch, spun her, and looked her straight in her hazel eyes. To her credit, she only gave a ragged exhale instead of the squeak he expected.

" _Hide me_ ," he rasped lowly, hopefully low enough that Sulfur Breath wouldn't hear him.

His eyes flicked to the door before looking back meaningfully, and her own widened with understanding. He swallowed thickly when he realized his hands were wrapped around her small waist. With a blink, he gently set her down, and her own delicate hand gripped his wrist to hastily lead him to a corner of the library.

To set the record straight, Laxus was not _running away._ Laxus Dreyar _never runs away_. He just didn't want Flaming Dumbass back there to disturb him in his new sanctuary.

Levy opened a narrow door and nudged him to it. He stepped in as she quickly, but quietly, closed the door, and he nearly smacked himself in the face when he made the realization that…

 _Natsu will smell me, too! Goddamnit!_

As if she read his mind, Levy whispered " _Solid Script: Dispel_."

The smell inside the relatively small room - Laxus wasn'tt exactly the _smallest_ person in the world - immediately reminded him of paper and cleaning supplies. Upon further tactile investigation, he learned that was exactly what was being stored.

"Oi, Levy! Laxus in here?" Natsu's annoying voice rang out not even ten seconds later in the relative silence of the library.

The hidden Dragon Slayer heard Levy distance herself from the door, her shadow drawing away from the bottom. Her steps were calm, and her heart somehow managed to slow down to a normal, even pace.

"Ummmm, no. Why?" The tone with which she spoke was pleasant and genuinely curious.

Dragneel's mischievous chuckle grated against Laxus's nerves. "I wanna tease the hell outta him!" The sound of his steps slowed to a halt. "It's weird though. Coulda sworn I smelt him in the hallway, but there's no trace in here."

"He could be trying to throw you off his path," supplied the seemingly innocent bookworm.

"Seems like something a tricky guy like him would do," reflected the clueless fire mage. "Thanks, Levy!"

Natsu stomped off - Laxus could swear that kid never went anywhere without making a ruckus - and when his retreat could no longer be heard, the subject of his pursuit pushed the door open.

"I'll show him _tricky_ , the bastard…" Laxus growled, blinking a bit as he stepped into the light. A bright smile was pulling at Levy's lips, and she stood before him with her hands on her hips. "I didn't know you were such a good liar, Miss McGarden," he said wryly to the short young woman.

Her chin tilted up. "It wasn't a lie." At his confused expression, she laughed. "You weren't in the _library_. You were in the _maintenance room_ , Mister Dreyar." As he shook his head with a grin, she giggled. "You're safe, Laxus," she said softly, hazel irises still twinkling with amusement.

"You're my savior," he replied with dry humor, his hand reaching up to ruffle her hair.

That's what it was meant to do, but out of its own volition, it just slid along the top of her head in a gentle caress. The azure locks were incredibly soft, like light blue strands of silk slipping between his rough fingers. He resisted the urge to either draw her closer or jump back like his hand had just been burnt. Instead, he pulled away as if all was normal in the world.

A blush rose to her cheeks, one too intense for her to easily hide. "Well, you owe me now."

He chuckled. "Guess it's time to get back to work, then."

 **Draconicmaw's eyebrows are raised as the tiny man shakes his fist at her.**

" **You have no right to use the honorous name of the Lollipop Guild!" he shouts in his high-pitched, sing-song voice.**

 **She scoffs. "You didn't even let me fit in an extra disclaimer! And I'm fairly certain that the Wizard of Oz is in the public domain!"**

 **The small man turns, checking a tiny pamphlet. "I suppose you're right…"**

" **Of course I am!" She drop-kicks the rather rude person, "Now go back to Munchkin Land where you belong!" After the pretentious dwarf was but a bright speck in the sky, Draconicmaw turns back. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. The tanka is written by me." She waves. "Hope you shipped it. Thanks for reading!"**


	4. Chapter 4: Life in the Background

**Chapter 4: Life in the Background**

Again, you sit patiently in the drawing room as Draconicmaw shuffles through papers on her desk. "Where did I put it? I swear it was here…"

Several blueprints fall to the floor, which you reach to pick up, only to be swatted away by the frantic shipmaster. "No! You can't see those yet!"

At your completely bewildered face, she grimaces sheepishly. "Sorry. It's been a hectic day."

You nod and gulp.

"I apologize for this whole mess. Ever since an irate munchkin strong armed his way onto a ship, we've been giving out passes for readers to enter the harbor," Draconicmaw supplied as she opened all the nifty little drawers that were hidden on her side of the office, "for your safety and that of the scarce remnants of our frayed sanity, of course." A startling groan of exasperation left her. "Where…? And I even made this one especially for you…"

The knocking at the door catches your attention.

"Come in," the captain/artisan called distractedly.

The desk manager of the harbor entered with an apologetic expression. "Maw-sama, we have another visitor."

"Who is it?" Draconicmaw inquired as she swiftly flipped through a binder.

The man gulped and shuffled. "It's the munchkin, Maw-sama."

"By Poseidon, what does he want? If it's another kick to the face, I'll willingly supply."

"He claims to be filing suit against you for medical bills, and is apparently charging you for aggravated assault."

She jumped into the air, a ticket-like paper in her hand. "Ah-ha! Here it is." She eagerly handed it to you, and you accepted it with a smile. "Sorry for the wait. Go out to the harbor when you're ready." She turned to the man. "Tell Marie that I have this…" a dark, sinister smile warped her features, " _handled_ …"

Clearly shaken by Draconicmaw's atypical diabolic streak, the desk manager nervously nodded.

"Let's get _cracking_!"


	5. Chapter 5: Relationship Dilemma

" **I don't own Fairy Tail or its characters. However, I do own the eccentric brain that spawns some of these crazy ideas."**

 **Chapter 5: The Social Butterfly's Relationship Dilemma**

It was no secret that Max Alors was the Social Butterfly of Fairy Tail. In fact, he'd like to think he was _at least_ acquaintances with everyone in the guild (Laxus was a bit of a maybe, but Max entertained the thought that it was because their magic clashed). He enjoyed talking, joking, learning about the comrades around him, even if most forgot that he was even there.

No hard feelings, though! Max didn't need to get noticed to enjoy his life as a mage.

And he was great at it! He did get overshadowed by pretty much everyone else - including Wendy - but he appreciated his pedestal as the unseen dark horse. It may sound like cockiness or even arrogance, but he didn't need attention to know that he was more than able to handle himself in a fight. To be fairly honest, while the Tenrou team were missing, he was probably one of the most powerful wizards at Fairy Tail.

He was glad they were back. It was seven long years of depression and loneliness for those who were left behind. He had found himself regressing into a shell, found himself taking multiple jobs at a time just _trying_ to keep the guild above water, and when he wasn't, he spent his time thinking, or training, or training and thinking.

But those days were the past! They were back now, _she_ was back now, even if she didn't notice him, just like before.

The Sandstorm mage shook himself from his bittersweet reverie. Mira, ever vigilant of her patrons' mood swings, lifted a quizzical, concerned brow. He smiled and swirled his drink, which was just some freshly squeezed fruit juice, since it was also common knowledge that Max Alors could _not_ handle his alcohol.

"I'm fine, Mira," he assured, though the words sounded a bit hollow to his own ears. Her blue eyes narrowed, and the tray in front of her was lifted and balanced on one hand.

"I'll be right back. Just need to bring Vijeeter his lunch," she walked around the bar and started on her way, only to throw a "Stay where you are, Max," over her shoulder.

Max's dark eyes widened comically. Gossip-hound Mirajane Strauss had locked onto her prey, and he found himself sliding away from the bar and quickly crossing to the opposite side of the room.

The melancholic residue that tainted his mood couldn't be swept away so easily, but he tried to bite it back and cover it with something more pleasant. The path he took naturally gave _that_ table - _her_ table - a wide berth, and he considered who he could stop by and socialize with. Wakaba and Alzack sat at one table, with Wakaba listening intently to a story the younger man told, while the gunslinging father kept a watchful eye on his daughter, who was getting yet another piggyback ride from Natsu. Nearby, Cana was in the middle of a drinking game with Elfman.

 _Nope, not going there_. _No need for another episode of getting smashed and having something shoved where it_ really _doesn't belong,_ Max thought with pink dusting his cheeks. He still blamed the Cards mage for that particular scenario.

Surprise almost made him trip over his own feet when he saw the next group. Erza, Gray, Gajeel, and Pantherlily seemed to be having a deep conversation at their table. According to Max's ears, it was about sword techniques.

 _That makes more sense now._

Nothing he knew could be contributed to the conversation. Hand-held weapons weren't exactly his thing.

Vijeeter, Nab, Reedus, and Mi-

 _Nope!_

Evergreen talking to a not-paying-attention Bickslow, who watched Asuka's and Natsu's interactions with - presumably - amusement. It was hard to tell when he wore the helmet, anyways. Then again, his tongue was lolling from his mouth in a disturbing fashion. Again to the point: Evergreen was probably going on about her fitness for the title of Titania or something or other, and Max just wasn't in the mood for that right now.

Juvia was creeping on Gray again, so she was preoccupied as it was. Wendy and Lisanna were trying to distract her with treats the youngest Strauss sibling had crafted the night before-

\- Max froze mid-step. _Who am I trying to fool?_ Since no one knew of his predicament, he could only be trying to trixk himself.

There was only one person he wanted to talk to right now, only one person he wanted to listen to, only one person he wanted to joke with, and only one person he wanted spend time around. The last time he had was just a week ago, but when spending so much time in the guild, it had his restraint on its last leg.

He was tired of avoiding her, of ignoring his feelings, of suffocating his desires.

Her smile dazzled, even from where he stood. She and Bisca watched Fairy Tail's two most immature (one out of age, the other really didn't have an excuse) family members goof around on the floor. The green-haired woman parted ways with the epicenter of Max's attention to extract her child from the pink-haired man-child.

He strode forward, discreetly wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. It took all of his poise not to stumble all over himself as he slid into the seat across from her.

"Hey there, Lucy," he greeted, beaming amiably.

She smiled back, "Hey, Max."

He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, "He definitely gets along with her, doesn't he?" He leaned forward conspiratorially. "I bet you it's because he's _really_ in touch with his inner child."

Laughter seemed to float from her, and his chest tightened in an uncomfortable, giddy way. "He _is_ his inner child."

"I guess you have a point there…" He said, leaning on his elbows. "Anyway, how has Fairy Tail's favorite Celestial Spirit mage been lately?"

The warm recesses of her eyes sparked, and she clapped her hands together in delight. "I've been awesome, actually!"

Max felt warmed by her radiant energy, and his smile widened. "That good?"

"Yeah! We just got back from a mission yesterday, and since those three were less destructive than normal, I'm actually ahead on my rent!" Lucy's words were ecstatic, "Now that I'm in a better mood, I've written like three chapters for my story!" She pressed a finger to her chin, "But I can't find Levy anywhere. Normally, she'd be begging me for a peek."

"Did you check the library?" He suggested, secretly overjoyed that she was speaking so much to him.

The blonde twisted her lips quizzically. "Yeah. She wasn't there. I asked Jet and Droy, too, and to my surprise, they didn't have a clue."

"Hmmm. She'd be hard to search for, too, someone so short…" Max muttered, rubbing his chin in jocular contemplation.

Lucy gasped in mock horror, "You would be _so_ dead if she heard that!"

He raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips. "If she could reach me."

The reward for his efforts came in the form of a laugh and a playful slap on the forearm. "Max!"

He enjoyed that, like him, she could interact with such familiarity with those around her. It also made him a little depressed to know that he didn't elicit any special reactions from the bubbly, but sassy, Celestial Spirit mage.

"What?" he said in a jokingly exasperated manner, crossing his arms and sulking like a child, "It's not like it isn't true."

"Aren't you a funny one?" Lucy retorted in a good-natured sarcastic tone.

"I am actually." Head tilted haughtily, he assumed a stiff posture. "I am the Comedian of Fairy Tail, the Teller of Awesome Jokes, the King of Witty Punchlines, the Master of Customer Service, and the Seller of Frivolous Keepsakes. You should feel honored to be in my presence," he declared, arms akimbo.

" _Oh_ , pardon me, your greatness." One hand waved sassily at him.

He sniffed. "I guess I'll accept that."

A giggle drifted across the table and to his ears. "So, how have _you_ been, your greatness?"

He shrugged, "A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Y'know, six of one, half dozen of the other… Life's pretty scattered when you are as important as I am..." Though he spoke with a comedic lilt, he found his inner thoughts trailing along with self-deprecation: ' _I've been lonely and pathetic with the need to just_ talk _to you, but I didn't want to come off as Juvia… By the way, you're beautiful, and I've been staring at you like a lovesick puppy, but, hey, you haven't noticed… So yeah…'_

The guild's doors opened, and a cheerful Levy strolled through. Lucy waved her over before turning back to Sandstorm mage. "There she is." She smirked slyly, "I'm surprised that someone as put-together as you are isn't more organized life-wise, your greatness."

Levy stepped up to them before he could reply. "Hi, you two!"

"Guess what I have for you, Levy McGarden…" the blonde sang to her friend.

Levy's hazel eyes widened and she slammed her palms onto the table. "Lucy Heartfilia, give it to me now!"

Lucy barely lifted up the manuscript before the smaller girl scurried away with it. She hunched over the pages possessively, as if her guildmates were scheming to snatch it from her. Max thought it oddly reminiscent of a small blue goblin guarding the little trinket it just received.

He made a click sound by sucking on the roof of his mouth. "Damn."

"I honestly worry that she won't give them back, sometimes," Lucy said with a sheepish grimace.

He nodded solemnly, profoundly, yet with pseudo-concern. "I think she needs an intervention. Hoarding is a disease."

"Yeah… It's a tad bit problematic, but," Lucy sighed, shaking her head wistfully, "she's damn stubborn."

"She'll die under a pile of books, but at least she'll die happy…"

After a moment of dense silence, the pair broke into a series of chuckles and giggles. A delighted flush took to her cheeks, a bright sheen to her eyes. Max began counting the erratic flutters of his heart.

Beautiful blonde hair, and soft brown eyes… He simply couldn't compare. Sandy brown hair, unremarkable dark eyes… At least he didn't have that damn bowl-cut anymore. Still, he was no match to her. How could a grain of sand wish to be on the same level as a blazing star? How could it yearn to be more than acquaintances, more than friends?

She'd probably want someone like Natsu or Gray, or even Laxus or Gajeel, Freed or Bickslow: distinctive in magic, looks, and personality, memorable, wholly unique in every aspect. Max knew he just… blended in with the crowd. Like sand itself, he fell through the cracks and landed at the bottom.

No doubt he'd stay there while Lucy walked above, snagging her a man worthy to be the center of her universe.

A poke on his cheek jolted him from his saddened reverie. "Ummm, Max? You okay there, buddy?"

He rubbed his cheek, which quickly heated with embarrassment, as he looked at her from under his lashes. "Y-Yeah. Just thinking."

She tilted her head to the side, pigtails swaying cutely. "About what? Sure looked deep to me."

"Yeah…" He laid his arms across the backs of the seats next to him in a cool manner before shrugging. "I do that all the time. I'm practically a philosopher."

A good-natured scoff left her, "The Thinking Man, I suppose?"

A nod had his hair falling into his face a bit, but he didn't bother to move it. "Definitely. Was going to have Laki make a wood sculpture of me in the nude and some conservative but inspiringly thoughtful pose, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't live to see it finished. Or in any state of completion, for that matter," he sighed depressedly. "Some things are just not meant to be."

"You experience such a burden, being you… How do it handle it?" Her dainty hand lifted to her forehead and feigned a swoon.

He tipped his head back and forth while resting one ankle on the other knee. "Long walks on the beach, sappy romance novels, and cookies," he leaned in and arched an eyebrow, as if he were telling her a secret, " _Lots_ of cookies."

She stifled a giggle and instead nodded seriously. "I've heard cookies are _most_ therapeutic."

Each little sign of amusement egged him on. "Honestly, I'm barely fighting off a muffin top, but the cookies are _totally_ worth it."

The laugh that left her elated him beyond imagining. She stirred her drink with her straw before glancing back up at him. "Loving the jokes so far, but really, how are you doing, Max? It feels like we barely ever get to talk to one another."

The guilty look that nearly crossed his face was quickly held back. _Kinda my pathetic self's fault…_ "I'm doing fine. Trying to master a new technique with my magic, but it's been giving me hell." He rubbed the back of his neck, an intrigued look (falsely, though) settling on his features. "You're right. We don't get to talk much." His mind was galloping a mile a minute. _I mean, I want to, but I'm not sure, but I guess it's worth a shot, and I guess I'd never know unless I genuinely tried, but I don't have enough courage yet to do_ that _-_

He leaned forward again. "How about we change that?"

She lit up, smiling, clapping her hands together once more, obviously delighted to make a new close friend.

 _Dammit! I just mentally friend-zoned myself… Why can't I just be confident for once?_

"That's a great idea!" The tone radiated cheerfulness and brightness and warmth, everything Max enjoyed about the Celestial Spirit mage.

Just as Lucy's lips mouthed another syllable and a beautiful wisp of voice nearly left them, Mira called for him at the bar, "Max! Come back here!"

He winced and hunkered low in his seat. "Dammit. She has the attention span of a toddler, but a hellishly good memory."

Lucy smiled empathetically. "She gets that way when she wants to drag some info out of unfortunate us."

Natsu plopped into the seat next to her, Happy soon following. "Loony!" He greeted, playfully nudging her with his elbow. Then, he smiled with that cheerful, boyish grin. "Dustpan!"

Max wildly motioned with his hand, trying to get the message to Natsu that volume was _not_ necessary at that moment. Natsu caught the jist of it, and nodded silently while picking at some fuzz on his vest.

Happy, however, giggled behind his paw, an alarmingly mischievous gleam taking over his huge eyes.

Seeing the gears ticking away in that feline head, Max shook his own vigorously. Even Lucy and Natsu quietly begged Happy not to do what they all knew he was thinking of doing.

Ignoring them, little blue cat jumped high into the air, his wings springing out to keep him afloat. He cupped his paws around his traitorously cute mouth and took a deep breath. " _Miraaaaa,_ Max is over _herrrreeee!"_

"Dammit, you stupid cat!" Max yelled…

...But it was too late to escape She-Devil Mirajane Strauss.

* * *

Although Erza and Pantherlily had already left the conversation, Gray and Gajeel were still bickering about swords and just how talented they were at using them in a fight.

"The scars I have from training with _Erza_ during my childhood say that I would be far better with a sword," Gray said stubbornly, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

Gajeel scoffed. "Fullbuster, my sword is literally my frickin' _arm_. It is an extension of myself," his pierced eyebrows rose, " _literally_."

The Ice-Make mage laughed, internally acknowledging Gajeel's statement whilst outwardly holding his ground with obstination. "Well, I guess we'll have to test this the next time we train together." He thrummed his fingers against his bicep while smiling slyly at the Iron Dragon Slayer. "I know I'll win."

Although their initial idea of teaming up for pranks was foiled by an irate Titania, they still trained and often spoke and spent time with one another.

Gray knew that there was more to his own side of it, but analyzing his own emotions often left him beyond confused and more than frustrated.

Gajeel chuckled his signature chuckle, and his raised mug partially hid his toothy, predatory grin, his intense crimson eyes peering out over the rim. "We'll see about that."

Gray glanced away, trying to impede his internal reaction to the piercing gaze. His hand itched to slap his own cheek, like it would beat some sense into him or something.

 _Dude, just act normal_ …

"My ice is probably stronger than your iron, anyways, _dragon slayer_ ," Gray boasted playfully, kicking the other man from under the table.

The older of the two rolled his eyes and set his stein down. "You _do_ realize that kicking me don't hurt me if you haven't got some damn shoes on, right Frosty?"

"What?" He checked his feet, and, sure enough, his shoes and socks were missing. "Dammit." He turned and scoped out what parts of the guild hall floor he could see. "Well, there goes that pair. Shit, and they were my favorite socks, too."

Gajeel chuckled again. "You should just wear stuff that's really hard to take off." He inspected the bottom of his stein, as if he were wondering where all the liquid went, even though he just polished his drink off not even five minutes ago. "Like knee-high stockings that have a shit ton of Velcro straps on them."

Gray shook his head vigorously. "I wouldn't be caught dead in knee-highs." He recrossed his arms over his chest, only to notice that his shirt, too, had fled his person. "Really?" He looked to Gajeel -

"No clue, Snowflake. It was gone when you sat down," the tipsy iron mage deadpanned.

"Fuckin' ass. I'm gonna deck you if you keep calling me Snowflake," Gray snarled, jabbing an angry finger at the older man and imagining it was going into his eye socket.

"You keep threatening to deck me, or kick me, or who knows what all, and you never follow through. I'm startin' to think you've got a soft spot for me, Fullbuster," Gajeel teased with slurred words as he leaned back in his chair and let his arms rest on the backs of the ones next to him.

It took some expending of magic to keep Gray's face from blushing bright enough to rival Erza's scarlet hair. "If I had a soft spot, it would be covered in porcupine quills, Bit-face."

The long-haired one shook his head. "Nah, man. There's gotta be a warm, slushy Gray Fullbuster in there _somewhere_." He lazily leaned forward, arms following with a strange fluid grace that accompanied a drunken Dragon Slayer. His hazy crimson eyes peered deep into Gray's, and a subtle tilt tugged at his lips. "There's no way you're cold all the way through, Gray."

All of the moisture left the ice mage's throat, the intensity of those piercing irises evaporating it. He swallowed thickly, his fists balling up and his palms sweating.

 _He's just drunk and probably doesn't mean anything by it, so slow your fucking heart rate and stop reacting like a teenaged girl_.

When a sudden loud noise caught Gajeel's attention, Gray stood up from the table. "Well," when his voice came out hoarse he cleared his throat and swallowed again, "Catch ya later, bolts-for-brains."

The slightly inebriated man blinked, taken aback by his companion's sudden decision to depart. "Okay…"

The Ice-Make mage gave a half-hearted wave - a pass of the hand, honestly. "Don't drink too much."

With that, Gray strode away, not even bothering to try to find his jacket, shirt, shoes, and socks. He was too involved in his own mind to really worry about that.

The gentle breeze that greeted him was greatly appreciated, as soothed the mental and emotional turmoil he was experiencing.

It was always a source of confusion and inner conflict for him… his… _attractions_. He grew up thinking guys should like girls. Which he does (he had a crush on Lucy the first couple of months she was in Fairy Tail, not that he would openly tell anyone)!

But he admired _men_ … and probably not how males are supposed to admire another of their gender.

When he saw Sting's defined abs, or Bacchus' trim back muscles, or Gajeel's intense red eyes… he didn't just admire them from an objective standpoint like _Wow, I wish I looked like that_ or something normal along those lines.

He was _attracted_ to them. Just like he did with women, he imagined what their hands felt like, what it would be like to be the object of their affection, what it would be like to _kiss_ them.

But now, it was going past just _physical_ attraction. It was more than a silly little crush, no matter how much he wanted to write it off as one. He liked spending time with Gajeel, getting to know him, learning how he thought and felt, whereas with others - both men and women - it never went farther than a superficial connection. Not saying that he didn't admire them as people, it just…

He angrily kicked a pebble, which zoomed off into a bush.

 _This_ was why he didn't ever analyze his emotions! He just ended up thinking himself in circles!

Anything _not_ emotional was a hell of a lot easier!

He stopped walking for a moment, pressed the heels of his palms to his forehead, and took a deep breath. This continued for a while as he let the tension drain from his system.

Shaking them out, he lowered his hands.

He just needed to get away from the guild for a while.

* * *

Scarred beyond consolation, Max blinked catatonically. Mira, having not gotten any _verbal_ information from the poor sap, continued on her deceptively sweet way to serve her fellow guildmembers.

How could someone so seemingly kind be so incredibly threatening? Max could find no explanation, but was not too worried about finding out. The even more bizarre part was how subtle those threats were despite their terrible implication of violence.

Lucy, who had guiltily kept her distance from the man while he endured interrogation, sat by him and patted his arm empathetically.

He grunted, turning to stare at her with hollow eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Max," she said lowly.

He blinked again. Mira probably knew now. Everyone would know. Lucy would hear about it. And he didn't even say anything. "It's fine, Lu."

 _It's not. Nothing's fine. Dear God, smite me now_.

He waited. It never happened. The divines had abandoned him after all.

Lucy looked surprised, probably at the nickname he so blatantly tossed out. A curious sparkle lit her eyes. "What did she want?"

The Sandstorm mage groaned, his head flopping onto his folded arms. "Everything. Particularly my soul."

Lucy chuckled, stirring her drink. " _That's_ a given." She patted his shoulder. "Maybe you should go home and get some rest. One might need it after dealing with Mira."

He turned his head, his hair splaying across his cheek enough to hide how intensely his dark eyes studied her.

Her hand brushed it away, her lips deepening their sweet smile. "You look like Cousin It." When she tucked the strands behind his ear, her hand paused, as if realizing the proximity that her actions brought, and she pulled away with a small blush.

A little bit of confidence burst into Max. It wasn't much, but he hoped it was enough. He sat up a little more. "Do you want to go for a walk with me?"

Her eyes widened before she smiled once more. "Yeah, sure. Where to?"

He stood from his chair. "Oh, maybe to the bookstore and back?"

Her enthusiasm went off the charts at the mention of that one special place. It was like telling Asuka they were going to the candy store. "That's a great idea!"

Her energy as they walked out of the guild made his heart ache with fondness. He politely presented his elbow, which she wrapped her own arm around with a grin.

"I didn't think that you would visit a bookstore often," she admitted, waving to the people that recognized her.

"Sappy romance novels, remember?" he said with a beam, taking so much joy in the familiar manner in which she gripped his arm. No doubt she meant it in a friendly, playful way, but he allowed himself the daydream of the two of them as a pair, rather than a set of acquaintances.

A giggle left her, "Oh, yeah. Of course. How could I ever forget?"

A strong pride took his posture. "I am deeply offended by your forgetfulness. As the most important person in our guild, I expect you to memorize every word that comes out of my mouth, whether or not it makes sense to your mortal brain."

She laughed, swatting him with her other hand. "Please, forgive me, your greatness! How could I ever make up for this?!" The despair in her voice was entirely humorous, but as they passed through a derelict street, Max firmly believed it was then or never.

He stopped in his tracks, studying every aspect of her beaming face. Just one last glance before he took a leap of faith that could possibly lead him to rejection. "You could go out with me," he said lowly, all traces of humor wiped from his voice.

Her lips parted, and her arms slacked with surprise.

Max gently drew away from her hold and stepped in front of her. "I've liked you for… A _very_ long time…" He clasped one of her hands between both of his, his larger fingers tracing the pink outline of her guildmark. "Since I've met you, honestly." His dark eyes rose from her hand to her face. Her own eyes widened, and her other fingers pressed into her lips with astonishment. "I… know you probably don't notice me much, but… I thought that… that…" When he trailed off and she didn't respond, he let her limp hand go and took a few steps back. "N-Nevermind… Sorry…"

"No!" She practically leapt forward, her fingers wrapping firmly around his hands. "Don't be sorry, Max. I was just… really surprised. A guy's… never really asked me out…"

Heat crawled up his neck and onto his face, his eyes fixated on their hands. "I've never really asked a girl out, either." He chuckled. "So I guess we're both a little awkward right now."

Her ever-present surprise had her small fingers tightening around his palms. "You've never had a girlfriend?"

"Not a serious one," the Sandstorm mage nearly whispered. He looked into her eyes. "But I want this to be serious… if it happens…"

Lucy threaded her fingers with his, her thumb trailing over his soothingly. "I've liked you, too, Max." The Celestial Spirit mage shrugged sheepishly. "Probably for not as long as you've liked me, but…"

A bright smile broke through on his face, and he swung their hands playfully. "That's more than good enough for me. I was under the impression that you weren't interested at all. I'm probably the happiest nan in the world right now." Truly, it felt like his heart would burst from elation if he became any happier.

She giggled, a lovely flush coming to her cheeks.

All motions from him suddenly halted. "So it is a yes, right?"

"Yes, it's a yes," she clarified with no small amount of humor.

His ecstatic whoop to the sky startled a laugh from her. He couldn't resist the urge to pull her into his arms and spin her about. Her laughter filled the street, her small fingers curling into the material on his shoulders. His own laughs joined in, and his arms tightened around her waist.

Dizzy from both their motion and excitement, Max slowed, gently setting her down, both still giggling like lunatics. Her hands slid from his shoulders to his chest.

"Anyways, you promised a trip to the bookstore," she said sassily, poking him in the chest with each syllable.

"Lu, I'd carry you on my back to the top of Mount Hakobe if you wanted," the sand mage informed, his fingers pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Well, you're in luck. I just want to go to the bookstore."

"Bookstore it is!"

* * *

Gajeel hummed at the scent of dinner as he and Pantherlily set the plates on their dining room table. After metabolizing all of that alcohol - enough to have gotten him fairly drunk, and it takes _a lot_ to get an adult Dragon Slayer even slightly tipsy - he was hungry enough to eat the damn table.

"So, how was your day, Gajeel?" The exceed inquired curiously.

Gajeel sighed, flopping into his seat. "Well, you know, drunken stupidity, so the cat was almost out of the bag."

Pantherlily was nothing short of horrified. "I will _never_ understand that expression. What sort of sick bastard would trap a cat in a bag?"

 **Draconicmaw shielded her face against the spray of the ocean. Two deck workers struggled against the heaving of the boat to bring the large black lump of plastic to the rail. Draconicmaw hefted up the cinder block and tossed it overboard. The coiled rope quickly unraveled, and when it reached its end, the black bundle whipped out of the workers' arms and plunged into the briny depths of the sea.**

 **The captain turned, swiping her hands together as if brushing dirt from them. She met your horrified eyes with a stern look of indifference. "Now that** _ **that's**_ **handled…"**

 **You step back, terrified.**

" **Oh, calm down. I was just telling you that you're probably stuck with us.**

 **We're on the run now."**


End file.
